As someone from the United States, I find the broad dislike for my country whenever I travel fascinating (and a little sad).

The US's leadership in establishing global institutions (NATO, IMF, UN, etc), fostering open markets (WTO, NAFTA, etc), and driving technological breakthroughs (telephones, airplanes, the internet, etc) have created the conditions for the prosperity and security that most of the Western world enjoys today.

Yet, people hate the United States.

At best, people consider us a laughable meme-country that elected Donald Trump as president.

At worst, people feel that US foreign policy decisions have cost them their livelihood.

I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells trying to justify my country's decisions to people from places who have significantly benefitted from the US being as powerful as it is today.

It's paradoxical. But it begs the question: How do you talk to people who hate your country?

The following are some of the top strategies I use when someone is ready to throw hands solely because I'm from the US.

Agree with them

The first thing I do is always agree with the listed shortcomings someone has about my country.

Even if I disagree wholeheartedly.

I've noticed this helps establish trust and makes them feel heard. I leave the rebuttals and counterarguments for later on.

Ask why

After agreeing with their grievances, I always ask why they feel that way.

No matter what their answer, it always comes back to one key theme: they were raised on a different set of values than me and cannot see past their own biases.

The same is true for me when assessing other countries and their lifestyles.

For example, I'll never get over all the vacation days that Europeans receive. They can never understand why people from the US work so hard. There is no objective right or wrong–our different upbringings shape our opinions.

In identifying this, it's easy to respond with something to the effect of:

"I see why you feel that way. I was raised on that value, so it feels normal to me. But if you weren't brought up in that environment, I can see how it would feel strange."

It's a very soft-landing way of agreeing to disagree while still validating their opinion.

Of course, you might also actually wholeheartedly agree with their opinion in which case it's easier to simply come out and say that.

Lead with love

One of my favorite strategies is to turn the conversation to the other person's country.

But instead of noting the country's problems, I tell the person how much I love and admire their country. If I've been, I mention specific places or cultural components I particularly appreciate.

People who come out throwing haymakers against the US are expecting a few punches to be thrown in return. They don't plan on the love-fest and are either happy to keep talking about their amazing country or backtrack on their comments about the US.

I'll often hear someone say:

"You know I hear a lot of negative things about the US, but all the people I've met from there are lovely."

Or, the ever-hilarious response:

"I've never actually been to the US, so I suppose I probably shouldn't assume all the things I see on the news."

Leading with love for someone else's country is the best way to ensure that love comes back around to you–however begrudgingly it is.

Change their mind with your energy, not your words

The final tactic I employ is more nuanced, but I believe it goes a long way.

The conversation I'm having with someone might be one of the few times they get to interact with someone from the US in this context.

Personally, the opinions I form about countries are skewed by the <5 people with whom I'll have conversations that transcend small talk.

The same is likely true for the person I'm talking to. So, instead of trying to change their mind with hopeless political rhetoric, I just try to bring positive vibes to the rest of the conversation.

Be helpful. Be friendly. Be happy!

I'm representing the US, a country that makes me happy, after all.

I believe that, regardless of where the conversation goes, bringing the right energy will cause the person to second-guess if their hatred is misplaced.

Maybe they'll still think that the price of college is too expensive in the US.

They'll still think the healthcare system is broken or that the US is too riddled with crime.

But, with luck, they'll remember one of the few interactions they had with a flag-waving, freedom-loving, red-blooded Amurrrrican.

Instead of focusing on their negative mental model of the US, they'll remember you instead.

And you were kinda fun.

You brought good vibes.

You were happy and helpful.

And maybe, just maybe, they'll focus on the good parts of your country instead :)